Does the ocean make you feel a flutter?---poem?
Walking down the early morning beach
I gaze at the horizon
It’s pink and orange rays,
Spilling over white topped waves
The sand embossed,
With stories of passing strangers
shells sprinkled in varies of patterns
Searing, sultry air
Over whelming my senses,
With envy of the oceans luxury
I long for it’s wealth in beauty
vowing my life
To its grandeur
I wrote this poem a long time ago. I just found it and felt like sharing. Thanks for the words.......~♥*RaeRae*♥~..
I like. Can you make it better....yes. Edits to consider: L6 is confusing to me. L7 typo on various? L9 typo on overwhelming L10: try eliminating "of" and rewrite as "with envy...the ocean's luxury". (luxury to me does not flow as well, perhaps another 2 syllable word instead). L11: confusing in meaning to me L12 & 13: I think you are trying to say that you want to keep it pristine, etc., to me it seemed more like willingness to die for it? Perhaps rewording would help. My compliments overall, spend the time in editing to make this shine the way it can.
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